The title says it all.....Depression to me is like, fighting a loosing battle. I'm on 3 anti depression meds, and two blood pressure pills. The plus side is I don't want to hurt myself, or others, but I don't want to do anything. just be lazy and sleep. I haven't done much with CAP, after the big promotion I wanted went to some else who I thought was under qualified, I lost interest. My membership is up for renewal and I don't know if I will or not.
I listen to music on and off all day, just to try and pump myself up. I have written several posts, and just never publish. I read and reread them try and make corrections and it just doesn't sound interesting , so I delete them. I try and read other blogs, sometimes I reply sometimes just pass. I don't think of myself as a poplar person. I have not many friends outside of the family. I have those here who post replies, but any close friends who I email daily or even call is zero. Even the folks at CAP, who I thought I would connect with I haven't.
I go online several times a day and I get board after about 10 or 15 min. I watch some films on Netflex. I watched several on WW2. Too many films on drugs and other B.S.. I'm so board with the doom and gloom of so many blogs. I stopped reading survivalblog, went back after several months and its all the same doom and gloom crap.
Well, I'm closing this post, I lost interest in my pity party............
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13 comments:
Sorry you are going through a rough patch. Go ahead and post what you write. I like to read those who write about their everyday lives. Those are much more interesting to me than those who write about climbing mountains or swimming oceans. Use your blog as sort of a journal. That's one reason I write about canning or dehydrating or phone calls from Grands. Not exactly jump up and down setting off fireworks exciting, but I can go back and use it to help me remember. And now and then someone will find something of interest to them. Don't sell yourself short. There are some of us who like to read what you write. :)
Rob, buddy - we're here with you! it's not a pity party and sharing how you feel with others who appreciate it is a gift! don't get bogged down by the doom and gloom blogs and other prepper/survivalist sites...look at your own preps and acknowledge all that you have done to build them. are you ever gonna live in The Redoubt??? in a big fortress with big walls and a moat??? NO! so just do what you can....and try ( a big emphasis on the word try!) to enjoy each day as you can. depression is no laughing matter and IT'S REAL!
i haven't posted in 2 weeks on our blog and you know why - it's because we have been jet-setting around the world with movie-stars - bahahahahah! naw - i just haven't bothered posting is all. and ya - i feel bad - NOT!
we are all still here for ya buddy...and i hate to remind you that i haven't gotten a recent pic of Sammy in how long???????
sending much love to you and yours, always! your friend,
kymber
Rob, we're still here, and you're entitle to feel however you feel. Blogging's just a hobby, anyway, so ... don't wanna post? Then don't.
I have days where I don't even want to LOOK at a computer.
'Been there, done that... Ride it out. Pray. Once you've come out of depression once, you'll know you'll get out of it again, because you've got the roadmap. It's the first time that sucks! You think it will never end! I had the job thing happen to me as well. 28 years of experience lost out to five years experience and a piece of paper from a college! In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't get the job! I would have hated it!
Know this, if nothing else; you ARE understood!
Thanks Vicki, I've been battling depression since 2003 when I got hurt and it got worse in 2006. That's a reason we moved to Fla. in 2007, but things didn't work out. My oldest is still there and still struggling.
thanks kymber. I know you two are super busy. I have meds to sleep better at nite, but I take so many pills I don't take that one. Afraid I'll over sleep. I will see if I can find a photo of Sam. He is 32 lbs (14.5 kg) weight, and 3 foot tall...0.9144 meters.
Thanks Padre, I so hate getting into a funk...I know god is watching over us. Its when I feel I have let my family down, as a husband, father, etc. that I just want to hide.
First off thanks for stopping by sir. I have been turned down on paid positions before. What got my goat was the women who they gave the job to has not done anything to advance her career tract in CAP. i was not going to even apply, but was asked to. i am more then qualified, but the powers that be thought she had a better repore, with the cadets.
i was the first one to toss my hat into the ring, but our new commander wanted it to be fair to all. I know its politics. I'm still waiting for our new leader to fall flat on his face. I'm one of at lest two that will jump in to turn things around I hope.
Can't say I understand depression. Never has been something I can wrap my head around. When things get bad I get mad and I rarely have time to get bored since there are so many things I want to do and even read that I never seem to get to.
As far as doom goes you are looking at it the wrong way. Or well a different way than I am I guess. If this world falls apart tomorrow I will be better off than I am today. The world as it is supports the feminist, socialist, justice warriors who have never been anything but my enemy. Doom stuff s music to me ears and shows these tyrants are losing their grip. It speaks to me of freedom.
See it ain't doom. Since when should a job with the civil air patrol be about popularity and not ability? What you are calling doom is the visible signs that this F*&cked up world these types have created is coming to an end. Rejoice in it!!!!
People who have dealt with depression don't understand it either, PP. They're hopelessly sad; in a cold, dark place, and there's no reason for it. On top of that, well-meaning people will say things like "What do you have to be sad about? you have everything going for you." If the depressed person knew what was causing the sadness, they'd be able to fight it. It's a tough nut to crack!
I totally agree with the second part of your reply!
I am not prepared as I should be. But that's my fault. I spent too much money chasing "rainbows" moving to and from Florida. It was a pastor of a church we went to years ago that told us we are chasing rainbows. I just wanted a better life for my family.
We live in a mobile home while not the greatest way of life, its better then being homeless.
Thanks Pete, My depression comes from several issues. Some days it doesn't bother me at all.
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